Friday, February 29, 2008

The image currently seared into my brain

They say you never forget your first time. Mine was today at 7:35 a.m. You parents know what I'm talking about....that first time you see your precious innocent angel with a full hand of warm stinking poo. Jiminy Cricket, I think I just aged a few years. I heard Caden wake up around 7:30 and then he went into some sing-songy vocalizations as if he'd just discovered how marvelous his voice was. Unfortunately that was NOT what he had discovered. Curious, I peeked into his bedroom and spotted him sitting upright in his crib with a giant wad of turdage in one hand while the other hand appeared to be sponge-painting his bumper. Evidently Caden had dumped such a ginormous load into his diaper that it was creeping up his back. He was just reaching around and grabbing some material for his art project from the ooze-over. NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I could neither confirm nor deny that he had consumed any, but the mess was too much for one person to clean and keep a toddler's hands out of it simultaneously. I yelled for The Tank who was in the midst of leaving for work and then proceeded to take the next hour or so returning our household to its normal stench- and fecal-free environment. All before breakfast. Somebody hit me up with some strong coffee! In the meantime I pray that this was a one-time event but since I've heard so many horror stories from other parents, I'm afraid there will be more to follow. Maybe we better make that an Irish coffee!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Never enough Playdoh

Caden has a fascination bordering obsession with PlayDoh. As part of a Christmas exchange in one of my DS support groups, Caden received a PlayDoh kit that came in a small zippered tote bag. We usually roll, cut, press, and stamp the Doh on a lap tray that we place on the floor like a small activity table. Caden has connected this table to his beloved PlayDoh so when he wants to play with it, he'll haul out the little table, place the tote bag on top and then yell for attention: Hey, hello, anybody here? I'm ready to play with my PlayDoh. The problem is that as much as he loves to play with it, he loves to eat it more. He'll dart behind the sofa or even just behind your back so you can't see him do it. As if the blue lips don't give it away. Or the dissolving slimey mess in his hand. He even likes to carry it around with him as he plays with other toys, reads books, etc. Just a small handful to keep him company. Then I end up finding these discarded dried up mounds that didn't get cleaned up with the rest as he hijacked it around the house until something else required two hands. Today going to preschool, I put his coat on first and then turned around for mine. When I looked back at Caden, he was waiting at the door with his little PlayDoh bag in hand like you know mom, just in case things get slow there I'll have this to play with. Or eat if I don't like today's snack.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Did you ask for the time?

Even if you didn't ask for the time, I'm still pulling up my sleeve to show you my new watch:

Yup, it's Caden time!

Friday, February 8, 2008

Oh Mommy take me home

Here's a little tip I learned in Nepal for handling stress. Nepal has a strong Buddhist background dating back to the birth of Buddha himself in that country. As part of a prayer, a mantra may be recited over and over such as the traditional and most popular Buddhist mantra "Om mani padme hum" which roughly translates to "Hail the jewel in the lotus". You see it everywhere, carved on prayer wheels, on spiritual monuments called stupas, and on mani stones placed along the trails in the Himalayas. As I was hiking along in those high altitude mountains, gasping for oxygen and fixated on Mount Everest's image, I passed some Tibetan traders chanting the mantra quickly. To me it sounded more like "Oh Mommy take me home". My Sherpa guide set me straight on their recitations but I ended up favoring my mistake. When the trekking got tough, or I encountered descending hikers that despite their athletic physiques looked like they'd just returned from a battle (to which I was en route - gulp!), I now had my own mantra to whip out. Way better than "Calgon take me away", I have found it extremely versatile and credit it with preventing me from curling into the fetal position in the corner of the room on several occasions. When your kid is up for the sixth night with croup- Oh Mommy take me home! When your house is littered with toys and dust bunnies, the physical therapist is due any minute, you're out of stamps to mail your bills, you're jonesing for some coffee but don't have time to make it and those freaking telemarketers won't stop calling, it's pretty effective if you start yelling it at this point - OH MOMMY TAKE ME HOME! You're late for a meeting because your precious toddler took half an hour to push out one pebble of poo on the potty, you're catching every red light en route when you look down at your shirt to see a surprise parting gift from said toddler of most of his last meal (reflux keeps you on your toes that way), don't worry about what the driver in the car next to you thinks - OH MOMMY TAKE ME HOME! OH MOMMY TAKE ME HOME! Feel free to use it anytime.