Oh Mommy take me home

Here's a little tip I learned in Nepal for handling stress. Nepal has a strong Buddhist background dating back to the birth of Buddha himself in that country. As part of a prayer, a mantra may be recited over and over such as the traditional and most popular Buddhist mantra "Om mani padme hum" which roughly translates to "Hail the jewel in the lotus". You see it everywhere, carved on prayer wheels, on spiritual monuments called stupas, and on mani stones placed along the trails in the Himalayas. As I was hiking along in those high altitude mountains, gasping for oxygen and fixated on Mount Everest's image, I passed some Tibetan traders chanting the mantra quickly. To me it sounded more like "Oh Mommy take me home". My Sherpa guide set me straight on their recitations but I ended up favoring my mistake. When the trekking got tough, or I encountered descending hikers that despite their athletic physiques looked like they'd just returned from a battle (to which I was en route - gulp!), I now had my own mantra to whip out. Way better than "Calgon take me away", I have found it extremely versatile and credit it with preventing me from curling into the fetal position in the corner of the room on several occasions. When your kid is up for the sixth night with croup- Oh Mommy take me home! When your house is littered with toys and dust bunnies, the physical therapist is due any minute, you're out of stamps to mail your bills, you're jonesing for some coffee but don't have time to make it and those freaking telemarketers won't stop calling, it's pretty effective if you start yelling it at this point - OH MOMMY TAKE ME HOME! You're late for a meeting because your precious toddler took half an hour to push out one pebble of poo on the potty, you're catching every red light en route when you look down at your shirt to see a surprise parting gift from said toddler of most of his last meal (reflux keeps you on your toes that way), don't worry about what the driver in the car next to you thinks - OH MOMMY TAKE ME HOME! OH MOMMY TAKE ME HOME! Feel free to use it anytime.